Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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