Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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