no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
