Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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