When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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