yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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