just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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