so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
