At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
