she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize