In the future we'll all be gay
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It was confusing and full of hummus
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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