That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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