i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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