You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
