I wannas sexs uuuuu
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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