I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
