Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize