How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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