i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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