He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
