so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You were trust falling into bushes
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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