I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
