I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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