Plan B is the new Plan A
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
