the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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