Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All I want is dick and wine.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
