You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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