There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
