bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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