We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
