Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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(661): View more from California

Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.

(1-661): View more from California

Lol thats a classic

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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(937): View more from Ohio

[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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(828): View more from North Carolina

yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store

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(248): View more from Michigan

In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!

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(613): View more from Ontario

I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.

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