Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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