Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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