I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
