Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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