U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
