I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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