What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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