Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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