People in love make me want to vomit
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
