Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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