i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You're earring is so big in my mouth
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
