he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
