Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
