It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Everything about him screamed your future.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
