Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
