fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize