i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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