I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
