She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
