hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
