New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
