I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
