the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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