thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
