Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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