so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
