I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
