the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
