2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
