he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
