The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
